Werewolves V – Prologue

wulfWerewolf V has begun with the able and impeccable Dread Pirate Joe as the GM once again for what’s going to prove to be a humdinger of a battle.

For those of you unfamiliar with the game.  Werewolf is a whodunnit where each player receives a secret role (some werewolves some villagers) and through the course of a number of nights try and either wipe out the villagers or put a stop to the wolves.  In this case we’re going to be playing with a fairly large group (around 20) and by email with a move per day.

I’m fully expecting to be dead within a short time so until then I’ll report back.

For your deliberation here’s how it just started thanks to Dread Pirates superlative writing skills…..


Ext: It is the early hours, before dawn, in the distance, the sleepy mid-west-sterotypical small town of ‘JHFPville’ for short – is still sleeping. On a lonely road a car drives slowly.
Bob*: “This place always gives me the heebie jeebies”
Carl*: “Yeah, me too.”
Bob: “I ain’t been out to the old meat packing plant for years. Not since I wuz a kid. Kinda forgot it was there, till I read it was closed down.”
Carl (Shudders): “Yeah, me too.”
Bob: “I say, old Joe is gonna be mighty pissed that it is closed. That was his first business, yeah?”
Carl: “Yeah”
Bob: “I mean, he got lots more now, and is the frikking mayor and everything, so he gonna be all right. Don’t know whey he kept this place open for decades.”
Carl: “Maybe it was to stop the killin'”
Bob: “Man! That why you so quiet? Thats old ghost stories to scare the kids. None of that stuff ever happened. Damn, you got one helluva imaninagtion.”
Carl: “Name one person you know over the age of 60 – apart from Old Joe?”
Bob: “Well, theres a.. Now, gimmie a minute, my head ain’t that fresh at this time of night. Oh, theres… No, not him… well, there must be someone. A lot of them lie about their age.”
Carl: “Light”
Bob: “Their age, not their weight. Though some cou-“
Carl: “No. Light, at the meat packing factory.”
Bob: “This time of night? What you think, Old Joe working late?”
Carl: “Doubt it, they boarded the place up last week.”
Bob: “Damn. Someone trying to rob the place? We better get outta here.”
Carl: “Damn right. We don’t want no trouble.”
Carl increases the speed of the car and it passes quickly by the gate to the plant. After a few seconds, he slams on the brakes, and starts to reverse.
Bob: “What the hell are you doing?”
Carl: “We better go check it out.”
Bob: “Why?”
Carl: “Well, we are the police after all.”
Bob: “Chrissstake. It’s five minutes until shift change. You’re not gonna change yer mind, are ye?”
Carl drives on steadily, killing the lights on the patrol car.
Bob: “Dammit. Better call it in so. Gloria*? You there hun?”
Gloria (over the radio): “You boys better hurry up, these pancakes are looking mighty good.”
Bob turns to Carl: “You hear that, we gonna miss the frikking pancakes. Gloria, we going to be a bit late, Kojak here wants to go check out the meat packing plant. He thinks there is someone in there.”
Bob: “Gloria, you there?”
Gloria: “Sorry boys. Got a bit of a shock there. You two come back to the station. I don’t think there is any need going there tonight. OK?”
Bob: “Sure thing. We going to high tail it back before the syrup has melted.”
Bob switches off the radio and turns to Carl.
Carl: “No. I got a feeling about this.”
Bob: “Feeling? Man you get feelings all the time. This like the time you suspected Mrs. Brewski* of running a brothel?”
Carl: “She had S&M equipment outside her house.”
Bob: “It was a chairlift.”
Carl: “I know what I saw.”
Bob: “And when you accused the reverand of being a Vampire?”
Carl: “I know what I saw.”
Bob: “And when you thought that Ole Joe was in the Mafia?”
Carl: “Look. I know that something is up. Sssh… I seen movement inside.”
Both exit the car and walk silently up to the door. Carl motions with his hands that he is going to move around the back. He draws his gun. Bob raises up his hands to his mouth and shouts:
“OK, whoever you are in there. You have three minutes to get out!”
Carl (whispering angrily): “WHAT are you doing?”
Bob: “Don’t want to disturb them. They could be armed.”
Carl: “So are we.”
Bob: “Listen, when you been doing this job as long as I have, you’ll get to- “
Carl runs into the front door, which is hanging off it’s hinges.
Bob: “Darn stoopid young…” and runs after him.
Int: The main reception is a mess, and sprawled over the floor is the remains of what was probably once a human – or an uncooked beed lasagne. Its hard to tell. Carl is leaning against the counter, vomiting.
Bob: “Well, ole Joe probably won’t be worried about the mayoral elections next year anymore.”
Carl: “How do you know it’s him?”
Bob: “That peace of flesh over on the lamp has Ole Joe’s buttocks tattoo on it. He got it for his 70th birthday.”
Carl vomits again.
In the back room they hear a loud crash, and a growling sound.
Bob: “OK whoever y’all are. Come out with yer hands up!”
Something reaches from the backroom and grabs Carl around the ankle. Carl falls face forward into his vomit, and is dragged back into the room. He grabs the side of the reception desk.
Carl: “Arrgh.. It has me…”
Bob draws his gun and fires into the room. There is no reaction from whatever is inside.
Bob: “It’s trying to get the paper stuck to your other shoe. Give it to it!”
Carl: “You *(&£$(* crazy?”
Bob rushes over, graps the paper from Carl’s free shoe and throws it into the room. Whatever it is, it lets go of Carl’s ankle. They both run outside and get into the car.
Carl: “What the hell was-“
Bob: “Drive, you idiot. Drive!”
Int: Police station, an hour later. There are two plates with half eaten pancakes on them.
Gloria: “You boys are lucky to be alive.  So this is what was on the paper then?”
Carl is holding a scrap of paper in his hand.
Carl: “Yeah, it seems to be the start of an email Ole Joe printed.”
Bob takes the paper and starts reading: “You are all domed.”
Gloria: “Ole Joe was never good with the spelling”
Bob reads on: “The plant it closing. Damn those vegetarians to hell.  They have killed us all. I have kept it at bay for nigh on the last fifty years, but now they are hungry again, and I can’t stop them myself. But I know who they are, they are -“
Carl: “What a place to get ripped off. It looked like he was going to spill the beans.”
Bob: “I know. If only he had emailed it to someone.”
Gloria goes and checks the computer: “He did. He emailed it to us.
They all crowd around the computer. The email is in the Junk folder.
Bob: “That was send over a month ago.”
Gloria: ” Yeah, it went straight into the spam. Maybe that is why Ole Joe wanted to print it off?”
Carl: “Is that the confession from the guy we let off for the Macy Murders last year?”
Bob: “Oh, why yes it is. That went into the Spam folder too.”
Carl: “Didn’t we hang someone for that?”
Bob: “Yup. He did say he was innocent right till the end. Well, ye wins some, ya loose some.”
Carl: ” – ?!”
Gloria: “Here is his email.  All the same up until… yadda yadda, Domed, hungry, ah, here.
But I know who they are, they are –
Hah ha ha I ain’t going to tell you, you bunch of halfwit hicks. Making my damn life a misery stuck in this bloody backwater for decades. Go to hell every last one of you moth*S&**(ks!”

Carl: “That was written by Ole Joe?  But he does Father Christmas at the Store.”
Gloria: “He always seemed like such a nice old man…”
Carl (whispers): “I used to sit on his knee and tell him my secrects”
Bob: “I reckons, we better call a town meeting.”
Gloria: “What we gonna do now?”
Bob: “I reckons, we better call a town meeting.”
Carl: “I think we are all in big trouble.”
Bob: “I reckons, we better call a town meeting.”
Gloria: “We better call a town meeting.”
Carl: “Good idea Gloria.”
Bob (watching them walk off to the Air Raid Siren): “What am I, chopped liver?”
Gloria: “Only one REAL cop in this whole town sonny, and you KNOW who that is? Um hmm!”
Bob (under his breath): “Ah well, may as well go to Mrs. Brewski’s whorehouse. The Rev and his Vamps will have finished their weekly card game with the Mob by now. Bar should still be open.”
Bob grabs his coat, and walks out into the early morning. At least he knew he was sorta safe-ish from the wolfen – if they were back.
*Not his real name.

That was quick! – Turn 13 Diplomacy


OK, so after a brief pause (of several weeks) here’s Turn 13 of Diplomacy


Russia still proving to be a burr under the saddle of Austria.  Turkey is dissolving like a compass point witch.  Italy is boxing clever with England.

turn14Here’s the final position. Tune in again next <whenever> to see the end game of this long and unusual… eh game



Cards against Humanity Mega Game


a Big game of Cards against humanity has become a tradition at Knavecon. Once we’ve entered the terminal phase of the con where young ninjas are safely tucked away, grog has been piped and a more robust turn of phrase is abroad, out comes CAH.  This year we’re going to freshen things up by adding the five expansions to the game which should be winging their way to Knavecon central as we speak.

If you’re easily offended make sure to join this game on the night.



Knavecon V – Timetable


So here’s the run-down so far of the organised events on the day of Knavecon V, which some people are saying (me) will be the greatest gaming event in the history of history.


Cool Cats in the house – Black Kat Games


Black Kat Games will be joining us for the first time at Knavecon this year and they mean business! They’re going to be running two events on the day.

Black Kat are a really active games centre in Kilkenny and stock a great range of games and run some damn fine competitions.


I caught up with the lads in Kilkenny a month back and we spend a very pleasant afternoon shooting the breeze. Anyhoe.

I’m delighted to announce that they will be running the Nationals for Settlers of Catan at Knavecon this year, the winners of which will qualify for entry to the UK and from there to the US !  This is the real deal, win in the UK and you’ll be flown to the States to partake in the world finals.

Catan will kick off at 11AM

The second Competition is going to be DICE MASTERS.  They’re going to run a rainbow draft on the day and this will start at 3PM

Things are hotting up!




Imperial Assault Redux


“SO… What will we play ?”, this in hindsight was an asinine statement as Imperial Assault was sitting on the edge of a table, looming huge and colorful, beckoning like a bar on Bourbon Street to a brace of sailors who had just paid off. “Imperial Assault?”, the game at this stage was only short of throwing beads at the moth like gamers who were basking in it’s radiant gaming glow

Imperial assault it is and I once again slipped on the black gloves of Imperial Overlord and made plans to make the rebel scum pay for their winning impertinence last week……

I love imperial assault. I loved Descent and I own descent but I’m not IN love with it.  Imperial Assault is better.  More accessible and lots of happy.


Now what surprised me this time around was the amount of rules we struggled to figure out. The rules are comprehenive but our usual rules expert wasn’t with us so we had to rely on our own abilities. Yes! we struggled at least for a while until it all got up to speed

My biggest enemy once again was Hubris and it came back to haunt me. The scenario in question was “Capture”, the four rebels were incarcerated in a holding cell and having busted out, had to first of all to recover their gear handily stored in a locker not too far from the cell. Now call me pedantic but after the whole Exhaust Port Gate Scandal on the Death Star SURELY the prisoner’s weapons could have been placed in a more secure receptacle than a wire basket with a “get it here” flashing neon sign above it.

The prisoner’s first task was for all of them to recover their ditty bags without which they were fairly toothless. Apart from the Wookie of course who knocked fifty shades out of the hapless storm troopers then casually walked over and recovered his bits.


The facility was protected by both standard and elite storm troopers and a pair of smarmy imperial guards (the redshirts of the imperial assault world). At the end of each turn the imperial overlord earns points they can spend on reinforcements to bolster the defense. I opted to try two Ferrari red imperial bodyguards who floated in like demented nuns and did their best to slow down the rioting rebels. It wasn’t to be. The bodyguards as was pointed out in the painful autopsy/debrief were possibly not the best choice for containment and despite doing their best and wounding two rebels it was a one sided encounter.

One thing I noticed about the rebels is they are hard to kill let alone wound. They have wolverine like recovery and a quick rest will see all your hard won wounds on them melt away. I double and triple check the rules on this an it was so, however it mentioned that really the trick is not to kill the rebels just delay them enough that failing the scenario objectives in time will do the killing for you. It didn’t work. It was like a rugby scrum with internationals on one side and good natured vegans on the other.


Having pushed their way into the control room the rebels then gained access to the trash compactor and despite my best efforts (or worst depending on your viewpoint) forced their way through and out to the waiting escape ship. It was one sided, it was tough and I swear on one of the other players lives it will not happen again. For a forth time.

Life as an imperial is not all roses, heads will roll



Imperial Assault (and pepper)


Descent, Descent.It’s very like Descent with laser guuuunnnnss da da da!


Imperial assault hit our table unexpectedly last thur. By hit I mean reverently placed and as Ava Marias were sung by those assembled, gently teased open by a white gloved Jedi initiate.

Imperial assault is decent 2.5. It’s a smoother experience. It’s somehow simpler, the theme is perfect and it plays really well.

You get a lot of bang for your buck with what is an expensive game. As the owner remarked he was OK with shelling out another €20 above the price of a standard game when you see what you get.


We played two scenarios and everyone present was Gung Ho for another game.

The similarity to descent is neither here nor there. It’s a neat system it plays well and it’s great clean no one loses an eye fun.

Once again the production quality is magnificent. The models are bang on. The cards and floor section solid. Fantasy Flight does this all so well If you’ve unboxed Descent this is it’s twin brother.

The game is similar to every dungeon crawler you’ve played. A team of up to four rebel scum try to complete a mission hindered by the imperial overlord who throws hordes of lesser Star Wars themed assailants at them. Storm troopers, check, Imperial Officers, check, Probe Droids and so on

The plucky rebel scummers have to hack their way aided by various equipment and special abilities to achieve various goals. Destroy these terminals. Grab those plans. Prepare a nutritious meal for Dark Vader etc etc. All very standard stuff but the Star Wars theme makes it that much better.

Didn't let the Wookie win this time
Didn’t let the Wookie win this time

I was lucky enough to play one mission as rebels and one as Imperial overlord.  Both are a lot of fun and the missions were very well done and In the second one right down to the wire.  too close actually, we had them and we started out laughing and pointing too early.

The game contains twenty missions that should be played through as a campaign. Experience points and cash rack up each mission and both the characters and evil empire overlord get to buy extra stuff to aid them in their games

There’s nothing new in here. Nothing particularly innovative but what it does it does really well.

I didn’t get to play the skirmish rules but I could easily see myself playing this.

I really liked this game. I could see myself playing it again no problem. Would I rush out and buy it … Maybe. I have descent 2.0 and this is too similar to justify buying it. If I didn’t own descent I’d rush out and get it

Should have a copy of it at KNAVECON and I recommend stopping by and trying it

Until then (or next week)



Ok having mused over it for a day. Despite owning descent i do want a copy of this game. it’s crackin.

Damned if I can remember what Anomia means


Anomia I’m reliably informed is a word meaning an inability to recall names for everyday things like, you know, whatyamacallits and yokes.  It’s another brain melting game in a similar vein to Cock-a-Roach salad which I seem to be ever increasingly coming into contact with.  Like the electric shock game the skill is in being able to take more pain than your opponent and keep your head.  O.K. it’s not that bad, it’s actually quite a fun game but we were tired when we played it and you need a clear head to get anywhere.  That said if I was questioning a suspect I’d make them play this first for a couple of hours and they’d confess everything back to the first apple they stole.


Like all these game it’s piddly simple you flip a card and put it in front of you. Each card has a subject like a pop song, a museum, a famous painter and so on. It also has a symbol on it. Match a symbol with another player’s and you have to call out something that matches the opponent’s subject before they do the same to you


So it’s animal snap +. There’s wild cards in there that complicate things. Losing a card uncovers another beneath it, which can then cause another match. The game can pulse a number of times like this and unless you’re sharp it can get away from you fast.  Like a lot of these games it’s the changing play field as cards are covered with others that confuses the brain.  Well it confuses my brain anyway.

It’s a fun game while it lasts which is unlikely to be more than one game in a night unless you want sharp pains behind the eyes for hours.  Would I buy it? No. Would I play it again? Definitely. I reckon I’ve sufficiently recovered from my last game to risk another one.



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